my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
