Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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