We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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