I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize