Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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