i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
