why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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