she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize