I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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