Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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