You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
