dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
