did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize