Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
