Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
