You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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