ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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