just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
