i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
