I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
