mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
