it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
