Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize