and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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