I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
