they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
