Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
