I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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