I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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