I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
