No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
