I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize