i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize