weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
