i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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