Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
