I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
