He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
