When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We left an ass print on the piano.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
