There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.