Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I puked a lego.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just found a bag of teeth...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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