you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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