Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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