We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
