You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize