Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
