well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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