the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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