Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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