They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
