Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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