If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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