My nipple is on Facebook.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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