dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She told me I should be a condom model.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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