Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
