Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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