Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
