Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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