Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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