I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
