shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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